Scientists Invent First Robot That Doesn’t Want to Fuck

On Sunday, scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced that they had created a humanoid automaton that has no desire for procreation. If confirmed by the scientific community, this invention would represent a major breakthrough in robotics, a field which has, to this point, only created robots who really want to fuck.

I Wish I Weren’t Sexually Attracted to Fire

Being a professional firefighter isn’t always easy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s the best job in the world, and it’s really fulfilling. But sometimes it can be difficult, especially if you’re someone like me who is sexually attracted to fire.