Republicans Fight to De-Fun Planned Parenthood

Republicans Fight to De-Fun Planned Parenthood

House Republicans passed a measure on Thursday to reduce the amount of fun provided to Planned Parenthood every year. The nonprofit organization provides healthcare services to millions of low-income women across the U.S., including STD testing and cancer screening. However, political Conservatives who have long detested the organization are currently fighting to eliminate “excess fun” from the clinics.

“I will not stand idly by while millions of American tax dollars are being used to purchase giant ice-cream cakes and bottomless ball pits,” Senator Ted Cruz said during an interview this week. “Nor do I approve of the baby-shaped piñatas that Planned Parenthood hangs in their waiting rooms.”

Cruz is certainly not alone. Governor Jeb Bush told a CNN reporter, “Thanks to Planned Parenthood, thousands of women are purposely forgetting to take their birth control or using faulty condoms. All this, so they can be first in line for glow-in-the-dark water slides and pinball machines. It truly makes me sick.”

President Obama has promised to veto any measure that attempts to make Planned Parenthood less enjoyable. “I respect a woman’s right to choose between red or yellow balloons as she exits a Planned Parenthood clinic,” the President tweeted Monday night. “I will not let short-sighted political dogma pop those balloons, nor fire the clown who bends them into amusing shapes.”