Privileged Youth Makes Transition to Privileged Adult

Privileged Youth Makes Transition to Privileged Adult

On Monday evening, following a rousing send off from his attentive parents and former squash club teammates, recent University of Southern California graduate Eli Lawrence loaded up his 5-star safety-rated mid-sized sedan, a gift from his grandparents, and embarked on what is likely to be the most similar experience of his entire life.

“It’s pretty scary, heading into life alone,” the outgoing, personable white male with multiple employable skills and classic good looks confided in earnest. “I know it seems like I have it all figured out, but I really don’t.” That night, the Economics major with a trust fund that is “only for emergencies” drove to an above average apartment in Culver City to work with money for the foreseeable future.

“I’m looking forward to making something of myself, putting my nose to the grindstone, and biding my time until the reproductive system of privilege allows me to slide into a position of power-laden prestige within my already dominant status group, and finally collect those socio-economic benefits and opportunities I’ve been indirectly thriving off of for years,” Lawrence said silently by just standing there, existing.

“He’s grown up just like I thought he would,” Eli’s privileged father said, “and just like his son will, and his son’s son.” But Eli’s parents aren’t the only ones unsurprised by the young man’s early success and overall optimistic outlook on life, The Quadrangle’s source—“everyone”— confirms.

“These are the formative years,” said Lawrence, shoving the last bags of Zero Debt and A Lifetime of Financial and Emotional Support into the now overstuffed trunk.

“It’s not about winning the race. It’s about learning as much as I can along the way,” joked the young prince out the window, pulling away from the finish line.