Label-less Couple Confidently Explains Meaning of “Exclusively Dating”

Label-less Couple Confidently Explains Meaning of “Exclusively Dating”

Label-less college sophomores Max, age 19, and Jennifer, age 20, have made a mature decision. The couple won’t date anyone else and will continue to sleep together, because neither, Max and Jennifer explained, are ready for a relationship.

“We’re not together, together, you know?” Max explained to The Quadrangle reporters on the agreeably more chill outdoor patio at Jake’s party last Saturday. “It’s hard to explain, ‘cause no one like, knows.” He crushed his third beer underfoot. “She’s chill, dude.”

“We’re pretty much dating. We are dating. And we’re like, exclusive and stuff,” Jennifer screamed from inside Jake’s sweaty, carpeted living room that same night. “We’re just best friends. And we don’t want to ruin our relationship with a relationship.”

At press time, Max and Jennifer were struggling to tell the difference between hormones and actual feelings.