I Wish I Weren’t Sexually Attracted to Fire

I Wish I Weren’t Sexually Attracted to Fire

by Mark Hellman, Ladder Company 48

Being a professional firefighter isn’t always easy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s the best job in the world, and it’s really fulfilling. But sometimes it can be difficult, especially if you’re someone like me who is sexually attracted to fire.

I love my crew. They’re the best. I know I can count on each and every one of them when the situation gets tough, and that’s why it’s so important to me that I don’t let them down or get distracted by the fire’s stunning beauty. We rely on each other to be alert, aware, and ready to do what it takes, so I can’t just take a break to breath in the intoxicating sensuality of the burning flames.

Your heart pounds. Your knees quiver. You know you have a job to do, but the fire is just too damn sexy.

But that’s easier said than done. You don’t really know what it’s like until you’re out there on the front lines, your dirt-covered face being softly caressed by fire’s gentle tongue. Your heart pounds. Your knees quiver. You know you have a job to do, but the fire is just too damn sexy. You want it, badly, but that goes against everything you stand for as a firefighter.

These are the thoughts that run through my head whenever we respond to a call. And although I’ve been able to keep the dirty thoughts at bay (mostly), I owe my men better. I owe them nothing less than my full attention, with none of it concentrating on the way the burning embers sizzle on the hot hot ground or the way the contour of the flame reminds me of the first time I ever made love by a campfire.

But when I’m out there, hose in hand, dousing the supple inferno with a cool stream of fresh public water, spraying my aquatic fury all over the moaning chain of chaotic combustion, gripping my nozzle as tightly as I can to ensure my flowing current can quench the mighty thirst of the sex blaze, it’s hard not to get distracted.

And yet I can’t. I must keep my focus on the job at hand. My sworn duty is to do all I can to suppress my lust for the fire and, despite my basest instincts and desires, extinguish it fully.

I accept the challenge. I really do. I just wish… I just wish it weren’t so hard.