Everything In Apartment Stolen

Everything In Apartment Stolen

ARIZONA STATE UNIVERSITY— Shocked and angered that they let this happen, the visibly shaken residents of 242 Terrace Court were appalled to find that everything in their apartment was stolen.

“I’m still trying to wrap my head around it: the couch, the TV, even the kitchen table. All of it is stolen,” stated apartment resident Ellen Reynolds, who came to the realization after speaking with her two roommates, each of whom had helped to furnish the 3-bedroom apartment with chairs from college classrooms and a coffee table that was just sitting unclaimed in the basement of their building.

“I’ve had stolen clothes and whatnot before, but this is just terrible. You don’t think it’ll happen to you, and then you open your door and—wham! —everything inside is completely stolen.” At press time, the trio of roommates was horrified to learn that they took the porch furniture too.