Donald Trump Survives Rape Allegations

Donald Trump Survives Rape Allegations

After a video was released last week of the Republican nominee bragging about groping women without their permission, journalists and public figures repeatedly attacked Donald Trump. Verbally.

In response, Trump spoke out against what he has called “violent acts” against his character and “a complete assault” on his reputation. At a rally in South Dakota on Thursday, Trump spoke about the importance of supporting rape allegation survivors.

“It’s not fair that everyone assumes the media is telling the truth,” Trump said, continuing, “I can’t even leave Trump Tower, I’m so terrified. Terrified to do the things I used to love. Terrified to call women ‘sugar tits,’ ‘sweet lips,’ or even ‘puss-puss.’” The candidate then broke into tears.

When the reality television star confided in friends and aides, however, he didn’t receive the reaction he was expecting. Trump told CNN, “I thought that they would support me, but instead they blamed me, as if somehow my actions brought this on, as if there were anything I could possibly do that would justify [claims of] sexual assault.”

A spokesman for Trump’s campaign was quick to blame what he called “rape accusation culture” for creating an environment in which anyone could accuse men of rape without fear of consequences.

The legal system has also failed Mr. Trump. “I tried to go to the police, but they wouldn’t do anything,” Trump told supporters on Wednesday. “Why are we making it so hard for rape allegation victims to get the justice they deserve? This has to change.”

The release of the Access Hollywood video—in which Trump bravely asserts that “you can do anything”—has undoubtedly hurt the real-estate mogul’s campaign. When asked about where the contest currently stands, FiveThirtyEight’s Nate Silver gave a simple answer: “Trump got fucked [in the polls].”

According to sources who wish to remain anonymous, Trump has been seeking out support groups to help him cope with the trauma of bragging about rape. At press time, however, he has yet to find a safe space.