On Sunday, scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced that they had created a humanoid automaton that has no desire for procreation. If confirmed by the scientific community, this invention would represent a major breakthrough in robotics, a field which has, to this point, only created robots who really want to fuck.
Praise for The Quadrangle
- “I laughed so hard I bombed an orphanage!” -President Barack Obama
- “You can't just make up quotes and attribute them to real people.” -Conan O'Brien
- “We are shutting down our newspaper to read The Quadrangle all day.” -The New York Times
- “If I could have sex with any two guys, and I can, it would be the editors of The Quadrangle.” -Amy Schumer, Amy Poehler, and Tina Fey
- “The Quadrangle has made America great again.” -Donald Trump
- “My website is absolute dog shit compared to this one.” -Cole Bolton, Editor in Chief, The Onion
- “This website is so fucking funny I might kill myself.” -Jon Stewart
- “This website is sexier than any woman I have ever seen.” -Vice President Joe Biden
- “I’ve never seen a better website. I've never seen a website!” -Pope Francis
- “The Quadrangle is better than any woman I’ve ever made love to, except for Barbara Bush.” -Hugh Hefner
- “I fucked a donkey once. I don’t know. This website is alright.” -Louis C.K.
- “We’ve optimized the iPhone specifically for The Quadrangle reading experience. Ahhh, who am I kidding? I’m dead.” -Steve Jobs