Area Man Out of Excuses

South Bend, IN— After consulting with medical and spiritual professionals, 38-year-old office manager Craig Thornton arrived at the conclusion that he no longer has any good reason for being a total piece of shit.

45 Emotions Cut from Pixar’s “Inside Out”

We all enjoyed Pixar’s 2015 film Inside Out, as well as the lovable cast of characters that represent the emotions inside us. But the final cut of the film only included the five most basic emotions—Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust, and Sadness—instead of the 50 emotions that the writers originally envisioned, which more fully describe the human condition.

Everything In Apartment Stolen

ARIZONA STATE UNIVERSITY— Shocked and angered that they let this happen, the visibly shaken residents of 242 Terrace Court were appalled to find that everything in their apartment was stolen.